Being a parent is hands down the toughest job that exists on the planet but it also has the potential to be the most rewarding job one could perform. It is when we open our hearts to meeting our children’s needs and see the innocence and goodness in them, no matter what happens, that makes our job so rewarding.
I remember doing a nutrition seminar for a group of grade 5 students. There was a boy in the class that was not allowed to sit with the rest of the children because he had misbehaved too many times. I wanted to share samples of healthy chocolate bars, called Twilight, with the class. The boy asked me if he could distribute the chocolates to his classmates. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see his teacher start walking towards him, as if to prevent this from happening. The boy knew she was coming and looked at me with fear in his eyes. Before she could arrive at the boy’s desk, I held the tray of chocolates in front of him, looked him right in the eye and told him “I trust that you will take this around to each of your fellow students carefully and quietly, ensuring that every child takes only one sample and that you will return the tray to me.” He did exactly that. I could feel his gratitude for my trust in him and his pleasure at being given this responsibility. And because I believed in him, he believed in himself. Now, imagine if this boy was parented in this way each and every day. How different would his life be? How much would he come to love himself?
You might say “But I trust my child and he keeps getting into trouble at school!” There is only one reason that this could be the case; your child’s needs are not being met. It is up to us, the child’s parent, to determine which needs are not being met. It could be that their physical needs are not being met, i.e., they are not receiving proper nutrition or enough sleep or exercise. Or their emotional needs are not being met, i.e., they may be being blocked from being their true, innately good selves or not be receiving their love language (see prior blog on this subject).
It is when we blame our children for the mistakes they are making, rather than taking responsibility for adequately meeting their needs, that our jobs as parents become infinitely harder. None of us have all the answers; don’t be afraid to seek outside help to determine how best to meet your child’s needs. The repertoire of help includes hundreds of books, nutritionists, homeopaths, cognitive behavioural therapists, kid’s coaches, to name just a few. It is my hope that this blog will inspire some parents to see their child through the lens of their heart and turn things around for them while they still can.
What do you think? I’d love to hear from you! And feel free to leave a link back to your own blog too if you have one via the commentluv feature here on the site.
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Until next time,
Meredith
Tags: Children's Love Languages, how to parent, kid's coach Aurora, Kid's Coach York Region, meeting our children's needs, Meredith Deasley, parenting with love, pediatric nutritionist
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