There comes a time in every person’s life when we need to make a decision – a decision to stand up for who we are; a decision to stand up and say what we believe in; a decision to expose secrets about ourselves that we have kept hidden; a decision to speak our truth. That time has come for me.
Many of you know that my thyroid has not worked properly for over a decade. It’s not a horrible situation and I take the lowest possible dose of natural thyroid but as long as I have had that imbalance, I have known that I have needed to speak my truth – there is always an emotional connection to our physical challenges. Please visit these prior blog posts on the subject; The Emotional Connection to Physical Illness and Emotional Causes of Physical Ailments.
I have been working on my latest book for over three years now and that I took it to my publisher last week. My first book told the story of my daughter’s health challenges and how we overcame them. This book tells my story – the story of my childhood challenges and how I overcame them. I told this story in order to show others what was possible for themselves. I decided it would be best for my parents to read the story prior to my book coming out. I had never shared my whole perspective on my childhood with them before. I have dreaded doing this and even had a few nightmares about it because I liked my current relationship with my parents.
My parents have not spent time healing themselves from their childhoods; I don’t think my dad has ever read a self-help book, which is usually the case for individuals of that generation. My parents did not understand what I was doing. They felt I wrote the story with bitterness or anger, that I only wanted people to feel sorry for me, and that I must have been faking being nice to them for the past many years. They questioned my character and my motives but the bottom line is that they were hoping to get through the rest of their lives without facing their own past. They may still accomplish that task.
Over the past few days, I have thought long and hard about the need to tell my story. I realized that it didn’t just need to be told to help others; I needed to speak my truth so that I could heal. You see, we are only as sick as our secrets. Each time I explained what I was doing to my parents or spoke to others about what was going on, my throat became raspy and sometimes I lost a part of my voice. My belief is that these were clear signs that I was healing my thyroid; time will tell.
Whenever individuals put themselves out there, they risk subjecting themselves to pain but amazingly by the time they have the strength to put themselves out there, they are usually strong enough to deal with the repercussions. I don’t know if I will continue to have a relationship with my parents. What I do know is that I am doing what is right for me and I am operating from my heart. That is what we are all meant to do. My next book explains how to do just that. In the meantime, if this blog encourages just one person to put themselves out there, I have done my job.
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Until next time,