Start Living the Life You Dream Of

Here is some video coverage of me talking about how to stop sabotaging ourselves and start living the life we always dreamed of. This was one of my favourite seminars. Thank you to Marguerite Mantha (@mantha_manth) for asking me to join her on that special evening.

I want to tell you about a man who never knew how amazing a parent he truly was – my father

My father was the first father in Oakville to be awarded sole custody of his children….I was four years old and my brother was only one. My dad made every weekend an absolute delight. We hiked, biked, canoed, camped, and skiied regularly. We spent hours and hours at the library, Ontario Place, Harbourfront, Bronte Park, Algonquin, Grandview ..and so many other incredible places. We travelled all over Canada. He took us to meet Eskimos in the Yukon, went panning for gold and it was there that I caught my first fish with a smaller fish inside…

He made us tiny pancakes, cut all sorts of incredible shapes out of apples, made us ice cream cones with delicious candies embedded inside. We watched “Emergency”, the “Beachcombers” and Disney movies every Sunday night. He took us to the variety store where he taught us how to spend money wisely; he also taught us how to save. He converted an old tv into a puppet theatre. He watched every show my brother and I put on for him. He converted boxes into robots. We made forts with him in the snow and the leaves, as well as in our blankets and chairs inside. When it was a special occasion, he cut footprints out of paper and we had to follow them around the house to find our presents. He bought us big helium balloons and special, meaningful gifts. He went to a lot of work every April Fools’ Day. And Christmas was so abundant. When I only received one toy but a lot of clothes one Christmas, I cried. My Dad comforted me and explained that I was growing up and I didn’t need that many toys anymore. When we got home from visits with our mom, we found newspaper clippings on our desks that he thought would interest us, small items he thought we would like, and notes he had written us.

When my father put my brother and myself to bed, he told us wonderful stories that he made up all by himself. We spent hours each night in an even more beautiful world than this one. I used to have many nightmares. One night, my dad picked me up from my bed in my nighty and took me to the end of the driveway and set a fire there for me. We roasted marshmallows together.
My dad called me “Twinkle Toes” because of my zest for life. He told me I was brave. He told me I was important. He told me I could do anything and I knew he believed it. He told me when I made smart decisions. He helped me sort the lies out from the truth; I could always count on him to always be honest with me. He taught me values. He modelled integrity and hard work. He helped me with my school work, explaining the tricky concepts to me. My brother and I respected him so much that we never misbehaved. And we both knew how much love our father had for us; his eyes said it all.

When I reached the age of ten, my dad remarried. Our whole world turned upside down. My father put my stepmom in charge of raising us. We hardly saw him after that. He climbed to great positions in the corporate world. Years later, I came to realize that my Dad never knew his importance in our lives. He never knew what an incredible father he had been to us. My mother, nanny and then stepmom caused such pain for us that subconsciously he felt he had failed us.

My dad no longer speaks to me. He lives across the country from me. I never was able to convince him of what an amazing father he was. He has other children with my stepmom and they are a big part of his life now that he is retired: I am happy he is not alone. But I believe he hurts every day because he feels he failed my brother and me. I will always love my dad and be grateful for those first 10 years of my life with him. I hope that whatever my dad is doing today, he has a good Father’s Day.

A Letter to My Daughters This Mother’s Day

When I met the father of my girls, I told him that having children would be the most important thing I ever did with my life. This baffled him because I was such a corporate girl, at the time. Shortly after we were married, I even went so far as to tell him that I thought we should apply for adoption, in case we were never able to have children. That’s how important having children was to me.

Giving birth and raising my girls has been the greatest pleasure of my life. And having my girls led me to my calling. Because of what they taught me, I get to be a “mother” to many individuals, through my company “The Resourceful Mother”.

I am dedicating this blog post to my girls, Taylor and Paige. Oh boy, the tears have already started welling up in my eyes…

Dearest Taylor and Paige,

Your bodies taught me the value of eating healthily and we can see the results of doing so in all aspects of our lives. Your emotions have shown me the value of truly feeling, then encouraged me to learn how to process those emotions properly and, in turn, allowed us to always find the perspective we needed to heal from any situation. Your minds have challenged me to find greater wisdom, guiding us to learning unique information about this world. Your spirits caused me to probe deeper into what lies beyond that which we are able to see and, as a result, we know that we are never alone on this planet and that there are a multitude of beings that help us each and every day. Your hearts, open wide right from the start, pried mine wide open, which then allowed us to keep our hearts wide open, as we navigated the trials of being human.

I was not truly living until the two of you entered my life. I owe my energetic body, my deep joy, my unique wisdom, my deep connection to spirit and my great love and respect for myself and others to the two of you. And I now know that this is an opportunity that EVERY parent has when they give birth and raise a child.

We have spent almost 18 years learning from one another. This fall, you head off to university, Taylor. I don’t feel any pulls at my heart strings because I know I have done my job and you have done yours; I have full confidence that you have everything you need to venture forth in this world. And Paige, you will enter grade 11, and through your co-op, you will decide the direction you will take in venturing forth in this world. I have full confidence that you will make the right decision for you. Whether or not either one of you makes the large contribution to this world that you plan to make, our souls have evolved in the direction they were meant to go in.

I am infinitely grateful for the two of you. I thank you for the depth of our connection and for the profound joy and never-ending love that we experience. I thank you for giving me the family I always wanted so badly. Thank you for allowing me to celebrate the gift of YOU each Mother’s Day and every day of my life.

All my love and appreciation,

Mama

Easter – A Time to Love and Respect Ourselves

In Part One of this blog, we learned how to forgive another.

How do we know when we have forgiven another?

We have forgiven another when we can be around them or speak to them without being negatively affected by them. We no longer let what they do or say to us control our self-respect or well-being. The state we reach is called “detachment”. When we are detached, we can disagree with another but still love them. We no longer feel that we have to defend ourselves nor do we fear that they will trigger our old hurts. We see their pain or suffering, often coming to the realization that they don’t love themselves. And we know that their lack of love for themselves has NOTHING to do with us. As I say in my second book “If we can eventually reach the point where we no longer blame another but say instead, “I don’t believe the part of you that hurt me is who you really are,” then we know we have forgiven.”

It is important to know that once we forgive another, we don’t need to remain in a relationship with them. If they continue to disrespect us or refuse to act with love in their heart, the relationship can safely end.

In Part Two of this blog, we learned how to forgive ourselves.

How do we know when we have forgiven ourselves?

We have forgiven ourselves when we replace self-rejection with self-acceptance. When we don’t like ourselves, we attract people and events that reflect those negative feelings about ourselves; we see this turning around once we have forgiven ourselves. When we start taking responsibility, we start feeling worthy of receiving what we desire; we let go of our unhealthy patterns and decrease the frequency and intensity of the negative experiences in our lives. This results in greater self-control and a calmer existence. The forgiveness leads to accepting, respecting and eventually loving ourselves – even when we act crazy or feel jealous or sad at times! When we can truly love ourselves for who we are, that is the beginning of our freedom as humans and that is when everything good comes into our lives; we literally reprogram our future. We can refer to this stage of our lives as our “rebirth”.

On this Easter Sunday, I want you to have a glimpse into what it means to experience rebirth from an emotional standpoint. Our rebirth means we have come to love and respect ourselves like never before and have let go of our biggest unhealthy patterns. Throughout our lives, we work on loving and respecting ourselves more and more.

What does our rebirth feel like?

I provide a many-page description of this in my second book but I want to give you a glimpse of this stage of our lives for it is truly incredible, once we reach it. When we love and respect ourselves, we have taken responsibility for our actions and words, worked with our emotions and set healthy boundaries with others. Because of taking these steps over and over, we feel safe and others feel safe with us. We move away from conflict and drama, no longer needing it to fill our egos, and our lives become more peaceful. Our happiness and peace are no longer attached to people behaving in a certain way or things going our way. We are happy, peaceful and in a state of grace, even if things don’t go the way we want them to. The amount of peace we feel becomes our measure of accomplishment. We don’t become immune to pain but we become better equipped to handle it. When we love ourselves, we apply love to each situation and get faster at seeing the gift in every circumstance. We see life as a gift; we are grateful for that gift and life delivers. We luxuriate in the richness of life because we know we deserve it.

If you need help with any of the steps to forgiving others or yourself or experiencing your rebirth, I am here for you. Helping others heal physically and emotionally is my BIGGEST passion and I truly know how to do it. Wishing you the happiest of Easters and sending each of you an Easter bouquet of love, compassion, peace and joy! Your Easter Egg hunt of reading my three blogs and taking your inner journey over this important weekend is now officially over…. or is it?

Easter – A Time To Forgive Ourselves

Sometimes forgiving ourselves is more difficult than forgiving others but there is nothing more crucial to our overall well-being than making peace with ourselves. If we do not forgive ourselves, we continue to use our past to beat ourselves up and we sabotage our biggest dreams.

In my second book, I explain “It is easy for us to dwell on our regrets, the things we lack, the things we missed out on and the things we could have done differently. (Forgiving ourselves) means letting go of blaming (judging or disliking) ourselves; none of us deserves blame. It means being sensitive to our own suffering and coming to understand why we are the way we are, why we have certain beliefs, why we feel the way we do and being okay with all of it. It is only when we can accept our stories (whatever happened to us in the past) and forgive ourselves entirely that we can obtain the wisdom that our stories hold for us.”

Each of us is good at our core. You might insist that someone you know is truly BAD at their core but you could never convince me that this is the truth. Even if you told me that you had murdered twenty people, I would simply know that you were in ridiculous pain. I would look at you with eyes filled with love, just as I did before you told me of the horrible crimes you had committed.

You see, as I said in my prior blog, we each have this internal gauge of what’s right and what’s wrong. For obvious reasons, we need that gauge. What we don’t need is the constant punishment we inflict upon ourselves. But society makes us think that it’s not okay to make “mistakes” and that when we do, we deserve to be punished. Society does not see us as normal, unless we are continually aware of what we did wrong and perpetually beat ourselves up for it. I will say it again – each of us is good at our core. WE ARE MEANT TO LEARN FROM OUR “MISTAKES”, NOT PUNISH OURSELVES CONTINUOUSLY. Religions and their talk of our daily sins do not help us understand this concept. “Mistakes” are simply learning ground; they provide us with feedback as to what works and what doesn’t work.

In addition to understanding the above, something else is required in order to forgive ourselves. If applicable, we need to take responsibility for the times in which we under-performed, behaved without integrity or failed to be grateful for the people or things in our lives (or that were once in our lives and are no longer). We take responsibility by apologizing to those we hurt by our “mistakes”. Making things right, in this way, helps us make peace with our stories and subsequently feel better about ourselves. Lastly, after we apologize, we need to begin treating others with love and respect and living our lives with integrity. The more we forgive ourselves for our past, the easier time we will have of this.

I invite you to make a list of the “mistakes” you have made for which you have not forgiven yourself. I invite you to make a list of the lessons each “mistake” taught you; take your time with this. Then, make a list of the ways in which you are punishing yourself for your past “mistakes”. Finally, write down one unhealthy pattern you are going to let go of i.e. lack of exercise, smoking, excessive shopping etc starting this week. This is how we slowly begin the process of forgiving ourselves. And this is how we slowly begin living the lives we are all meant to live.

For two decades now, any time something hasn’t gone well for me in my life and I turn it around, I think to myself “How will I use this to teach others?” I encourage you to share your insights, as a result of reading this blog, so that others might learn from YOU.

And watch for Easter Sunday’s blog describing rebirth and exactly what that feels like!

Pleeease tell me you are enjoying your Easter Egg Hunt, making your personal discoveries!

Simple Steps to Transforming YOUR Life

Marguerite has been my good friend of many years. She and I, both being life coaches, are thrilled to bring you this information to help you transform your lives 🙂

When Saturday, April 1, 2017
6:30PM – 9:30PM
Where: The Hartman Gallery
5725 Davis Drive, Mount Albert, Ontario L0G 1M0
(One minute drive east of highway 48 on the south side.
See the Attached PDF for more info!
Transforming Your Life

My Delight in Discovering Kiss Me Organics’ Organic Dandelion Root Tea

Kiss Me OrganicsAs a nutritionist, I am well aware of the nutritional value of herbal teas and drink them often to obtain the nutrients my body craves.  When I learned of Kiss Me Organics’ Dandelion Root Tea, I was absolutely amazed.

Here are the Benefits of Dandelion Root:

  1. Cleanses the liver and helps eliminate acidity and toxins from the body
  2. Contains a lot of Minerals, particularly iron, zinc, calcium and potassium
  3. Is loaded with Vitamins A, C, D and B complex (helpful for stress!)
  4. Is recognized as a great blood builder and purifier
  5. Supports healthy digestion and therefore helps the body absorb nutrients better
  6. Is a mild diuretic. Because potassium is often lost when using regular diuretics, dandelion root is a much better choice
  7. Lowers cholesterol. One study showed that dandelion root lowered the LDL and triglycerides in mice, while increasing HDL
  8. Contains organic sodium, which is needed when there is a deficiency of nutritive salts

And the tea is organic, meaning that there is even more nutrient value in this tea than non-organic forms, and there is no sugar or artificial flavouring. Plus, unlike other brands of Dandelion Root Tea, this one has RAW dandelion, meaning all the enzymes are intact.

And get this!  It contains hibiscus and cinnamon too!  Both of these foods regulate blood sugar.  When our blood sugar is stable, we concentrate better; our energy stays high and our moods remain stable.

As if that is not enough, the tea is truly delicious! Lots of health bloggers and celebrities are even drinking the tea, such as Jillian Michaels and Kim Kardashian.

The tea is easy to order.  Simply click on the link: www.kissmeorganics.com/dandelionhealth. To help kick-start your healthy drinking, there is a 10% discount and free shipping included if you order now!

Thanks to Kiss Me Organics, I have now made their Organic Dandelion Root Tea a regular indulgence in my life.  It is truly incredible to me that a tea can offer this much.    

Meredith Deasley, BA, RHN, RNCP, ACC is a registered Holistic Nutritionist and Certified Life Coach and owner of the company called The Resourceful Mother.  She has been dedicated to connecting families to health and happiness, since 2002.  She has authored two books, one on physical healing and one on emotional healing.  Her company www.theresourcefulmother.com is dedicated to finding the most pure and nutritious foods & supplements to recommend to families around the world.

Obesity Need Not Be an Epidemic

When is it about me? I was just speaking with a client this morning who stated that she needs to lose 100 pounds. Her hair analysis report shows that her thyroid is low, despite her doctor telling her it was normal (doctors’ tests have a huge normal range when it comes to the thyroid). She has all the symptoms of hypothyroidism, which seriously affects metabolism. Her liver also needs to be brought into balance to help level out her hormones. She told me that it saddens her so much when others just assume she ‘eats like a pig’ and she knows she doesn’t. I explained to her that when one has a low thyroid, the emotional connection is that they are often doing too much for others and not enough for themselves. The subconscious asks “When is it about me?” This is why so many mothers have low thyroid! And then they get judged for weight gain when they are simply doing too much for their families and not enough for themselves 🙁

Weight gain also occurs when a child or adult is not properly absorbing their vitamins and minerals – mal-absorption is rampant in North America. When we don’t properly absorb nutrients, we continually eat food, searching for the nutrients we so desperately need. This calls for the healing of the intestine so that it can function properly.

More and more, we are hearing that cleanses (e.g. candida, parasite) help individuals lose weight and keep weight off. There is a particular way and order to doing cleanses so that the body learns how to properly eliminate toxins and then shed weight. Having lots of filtered water also cleans the garbage out of our bodies.

FOODFood sensitivities and allergies can add piles of weight to a child’s or adult’s body. When we react adversely to a food, it causes inflammation or swelling in the body. The problematic foods are most often dairy, wheat and sugar i.e. the foods most of us eat regularly!

Vitamin and mineral deficiencies can decrease energy levels, preventing individuals from having the motivation to exercise and causing them to crave sugar. Lack of probiotics or essential fatty acids can contribute to the colon being sluggish. Vitamin C and Magnesium are natural laxatives! These are just a few examples of how having enough of certain vitamins and minerals can keep us slim.

Obesity - Causes and EffectsAnd then there is the emotional connection to obesity. When we are overweight, we are protecting ourselves from others or from situations in our lives where we don’t feel safe or accepted. We are rejecting parts of ourselves and running away from our negative feelings. We seek fulfillment.

So, you see, there are so many important aspects to look at when we want to lose weight. Maybe now, you can see why diets rarely work!! These physical and emotional contributors must be explored in helping children and adults alike become the healthiest possible.

6 Steps to Making Your Life Your Masterpiece

Make Your Life Your Masterpiece At this time each year, we have the privilege of experiencing a few hours, in which we can dream about what the New Year might hold for us. We can dream of making an aspect or many aspects of our lives better. There are four important aspects to dreaming:

  • Whatever we continually dream for ourselves really is possible, otherwise we wouldn’t have those dreams. Remember that you have a beautiful spirit within yourself, regardless of the circumstances of your life. Whatever it is that you dream of in your heart of hearts, you deserve to achieve it.
  • Make Your Life Your Masterpiece - BookOur dreams do not manifest because we know the way. They manifest because we believe they will. Doreen Virtue says that manifestations are not rewards for good behaviour; manifesting our dreams is a product of our thoughts, beliefs, feelings and actions.
  • We must be open to listening and exploring the avenues that present themselves to us – in our thoughts, in the synchronicities we experience or those shared by others.
  • If our dream is not, first and foremost, for the higher good or emanating from our heart, it may not manifest to the degree we hope it will.

What are the 6 steps to making your life your masterpiece?

  1. Write down the improvements you want to see in your life, ensuring your list contains easy-to-achieve, as well as, harder-to-achieve goals.
  2. Now, start to visualize how it will feel in your body and mind once you achieve one or more of your goals. Continue to visualize achieving your goals, feeling the joy of each accomplishment within. Create a vision board to help you FEEL your success; I have attached mine, as an example.My vision board
  3. Do not tell anyone what your goals are or what you are doing. You do not need to prove yourself to anyone. Know that when we speak to others about our efforts to manifest, our power is weakened because our ego has entered the picture.
  4. Begin acting as though you have achieved your goal. If your goal is to have greater financial success, dress as though you are already successful.
  5. Create an affirmation for yourself and say it out loud to yourself many times a day for a minimum of 5 weeks. Examples include:

    “I radiate health and happiness from within”

    or

    “I attract people that love and appreciate me.”

    When you first start saying your affirmation, you may not believe it but, over time, your subconscious mind will come to believe it.

  6. As each aspect of what you want appears, be grateful and more will appear.

DO THIS EACH YEAR AND YOU WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE YOUR MASTERPIECE!

You Are A Gift

Merry Christmas - You Are A GiftIn the holiday season, you might find yourself hustling and bustling, thinking of what you are going to buy or bake or how you will decorate your home or how you will plan for a party… and this is all on top of living your regular life! You might be worrying about relationships, your success or your heath. You might feel overwhelmed, confused, impatient or even angry. You might have troubles falling asleep or staying asleep, as the torrent of your thoughts piles through your head. The possibilities of where your mind can take you are absolutely endless. But, notice I have just reminded you that it is your thoughts that you allow to control you. Your thoughts are not who you are.

At our core, we are innate goodness and love. Who we are, as young children, is who we really are – loving, trusting, free, imaginative and completely accepting.

When we come to love ourselves, we gradually let go of our worries and fears and open our hearts. It is more natural for us to love and have positive feelings than to fear and have negative feelings. When we discover our inner beauty, we come alive again and our biggest needs are met. We are able to relate lovingly to others and know how to embrace the present moment.

I ask you to stop being so hard on yourself. I ask you to take stock of the person you have become. Take stock of your accomplishments. All challenges and regrets are learning ground. Take stock of what you have learned. Take stock of all the aspects of your life that are not as you want them to be. Be thankful that it’s those aspects of your life that are not as you want them to be, as opposed to others. Be grateful for where you are right now, in this very moment. I ask you to be grateful for it all until feelings of acceptance and understanding engulf you.

I am imagining you experiencing these feelings and your smile as it spreads across your face. I am imagining your eyes shining brightly. I am feeling the love within you come alive. YOU are a GIFT. You have talents unique to you, you are loved, you are perfect just the way you are and your life is exactly the way it is supposed to be at this time. If in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, my message reminds you that you are a gift, I have done my job.

As always, I welcome your feedback. Would you like to connect? You can reach me via email or phone, leave a comment right here on the site, or click the contact tab at the bottom of the screen if you are reading this post on the website.

Until next time,

Meredith