You Are A Gift

Merry Christmas - You Are A GiftIn the holiday season, you might find yourself hustling and bustling, thinking of what you are going to buy or bake or how you will decorate your home or how you will plan for a party… and this is all on top of living your regular life! You might be worrying about relationships, your success or your heath. You might feel overwhelmed, confused, impatient or even angry. You might have troubles falling asleep or staying asleep, as the torrent of your thoughts piles through your head. The possibilities of where your mind can take you are absolutely endless. But, notice I have just reminded you that it is your thoughts that you allow to control you. Your thoughts are not who you are.

At our core, we are innate goodness and love. Who we are, as young children, is who we really are – loving, trusting, free, imaginative and completely accepting.

When we come to love ourselves, we gradually let go of our worries and fears and open our hearts. It is more natural for us to love and have positive feelings than to fear and have negative feelings. When we discover our inner beauty, we come alive again and our biggest needs are met. We are able to relate lovingly to others and know how to embrace the present moment.

I ask you to stop being so hard on yourself. I ask you to take stock of the person you have become. Take stock of your accomplishments. All challenges and regrets are learning ground. Take stock of what you have learned. Take stock of all the aspects of your life that are not as you want them to be. Be thankful that it’s those aspects of your life that are not as you want them to be, as opposed to others. Be grateful for where you are right now, in this very moment. I ask you to be grateful for it all until feelings of acceptance and understanding engulf you.

I am imagining you experiencing these feelings and your smile as it spreads across your face. I am imagining your eyes shining brightly. I am feeling the love within you come alive. YOU are a GIFT. You have talents unique to you, you are loved, you are perfect just the way you are and your life is exactly the way it is supposed to be at this time. If in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, my message reminds you that you are a gift, I have done my job.

As always, I welcome your feedback. Would you like to connect? You can reach me via email or phone, leave a comment right here on the site, or click the contact tab at the bottom of the screen if you are reading this post on the website.

Until next time,

Meredith

Helping Individuals Clear their Emotional Blocks

mental blockYou all know that I absolutely love what I do with my life coaching but I felt the need to explain in greater detail why it fascinates me so much!!!
A boy in his twenties came to me, who had been depressed for a couple of years. Within a few sessions of asking him powerful questions (that is their actual name) and doing some sub-conscious work, he realized that he didn’t want to become successful because he didn’t want his mother to take the credit. Wow! You see how our thoughts determine our reality? I helped him understand this concept and then asked him if he was done suffering…I then helped him forgive his mother and set goals for his future. He is now in law school and, last time I saw him, he was literally on top of the world.

“Any belief that contradicts our innate greatness needs to be addressed if we want to meet our own needs” Meredith Deasley – The Resourceful Mother’s Secrets to Emotional Health

A woman in her thirties came to me to help her put an end to her emotional eating, which she had been doing for years. In our third session together, we uncovered that she had not forgiven herself for marrying her husband! You might think that the solution would have to been to help her end her marriage but you would be wrong! We just needed to determine how she was going to turn things around with him by coming to love herself first. I ended up teaching her at CSNN and was pleased to learn that she was now happy in her relationship.

“When we bare our souls and speak from the deepest parts of ourselves, with complete honesty and humiliation, we allow ourselves to heal.” Meredith Deasley – The Resourceful Mother’s Secrets to Emotional Health

A woman in her forties came to me to help her live the life she had always wanted for herself. It turns out that she had not forgiven herself for something her father had forced her to do as a child. She had never told anyone about this incident before. Knowing what I knew of her father, I asked her if he had threatened to kill her if she did not comply with his wishes. She said that that is exactly what he had done. I explained that a young child will do anything to survive and that she can stop blaming herself. Suffering ceases to be suffering when we form a clear picture of it in our minds. My client began setting healthy boundaries with the men in her life from that point forward. She is now slowly taking the steps to living the live she always wanted for herself.

“It is when we allow our negative stories to define us and determine what is possible for ourselves that we stifle our growth as individuals” Meredith Deasley – The Resourceful Mother’s Secrets to Emotional Health

Ironically, we already are what we spend our lives trying to be. My job is to help others see their own greatness. Now do you see why I love what I do so much?

If you love this blog, won’t you vote for us?  You’ll find the link in the sidebar to the right of this post. If you are reading this post via email, please click here to be taken to the website where you’ll find the vote box.  All you have to do is click on the box. There is nothing more required!  This automatically registers a vote for my blog. It’s quite simple.  Thank you for your support.

As always, I welcome your feedback. Would you like to connect? You can reach me via email or phone, leave a comment right here on the site, or click the contact tab at the bottom of the screen if you are reading this post on the website.

Until next time,

Meredith

Life Coaching for me…

life coachingI was recently on a boat with a group of men that I didn’t know…yes, myself and four men…and they were guy’s guys, hard working, down-to-earth men. A few hours into the trip, they asked me what I did for a living. When I told them I was a life coach, one of them said “Well, I always thought that was rather a bogus profession. You are not a therapist and you are not a psychologist; what can a life coach really do?” Oh, how I love honesty… and challenging individuals; it must be the Aquarian in me. I responded by saying “Well, actually, the people I help the most with life coaching are guys in their twenties that are suicidal. They don’t want to see a therapist or a psychologist; most people don’t. I help these guys see themselves, their lives, and the people in it, with new perspective.” The men asked me if I had ever lost one of them and I was happy to tell them that I had not.

They asked me who else I help. I told them that one of my favourite things to do is to help family members or couples, who do not get along, forge a closeness they haven’t experienced in years, if ever. I told them that I could help any two individuals become close to one another, as long as they had the desire to become closer to one another. I explained that I have them stand on hearts and speak from their hearts to one another (as opposed to speaking from their heads) and that by the end of emptying their hearts, they stand together, on their two hearts, fully understanding one another and united.

The men were definitely interested in this. They asked me what helps me the most in my coaching. I said “My lack of judgment; I have come to understand that it’s very rare. When people know that I truly understand and love them, they feel safe to really open up and share their deepest fears and regrets with me. Their ability to be completely honest with me, allows me to truly help them.” This, of course, begs the question “How can you love people you have just met?” And my answer is “Because when you go through challenge after challenge and you come to love and forgive yourself, as well those that hurt you, you can’t help but be brimming with love for everyone that crosses your path.” Thank goodness, we didn’t have this part of the conversation or the guys would have likely thrown me overboard!

There are four other tools that help me with my life coaching:
1. The powerful questions that I ask so that my clients can search within themselves for their right answer and insight. I can never know the right answer for a client nor can I know when the timing is right for them to make a change.
2. My knowledge of holistic nutrition so that we can determine if there is a nutrient deficiency contributing to their lack of energy, depression or other challenge. And so that I can explain the emotional connection to their physical challenge or to any food/drink cravings they might have.
3. My ability to present individuals with options as to how to look at things and how to move forward. I find that people can’t always have the perspective they need on their own lives.
4. This one is my secret…only my clients know it!

I have been an accredited life coach since 2012 but I have studied people physically, mentally and emotionally my whole life. Don’t ask me about world events, finances or technology. Ask me about people and I will tell you everything you want to know. I am honoured to have been asked to help the suicidal teens in Woodstock, Ontario; I go there tomorrow with a group of other life coaches.

If you love this blog, won’t you vote for us?  You’ll find the link in the sidebar to the right of this post. If you are reading this post via email, please click here to be taken to the website where you’ll find the vote box.  All you have to do is click on the box. There is nothing more required!  This automatically registers a vote for my blog. It’s quite simple.  Thank you for your support.

As always, I welcome your feedback. Would you like to connect? You can reach me via email or phone, leave a comment right here on the site, or click the contact tab at the bottom of the screen if you are reading this post on the website.

Until next time,

Meredith

Stress – Its Underlying Cause

what causes stressStress is the underlying cause behind much of the illness we experience. Irritable Bowel Syndrome is a perfect example of a stress-induced illness. But what is the root cause of stress? When we experience stress, we are resisting the flow of life. Stress is not caused by the circumstances of our lives but by our reaction to the choices we have made that result in the circumstances of our lives.

When the circumstances of our lives or people don’t meet our approval, we focus our energy on trying to control or change our external circumstances or the people in our lives. Or we bend over backwards to please the people in our lives. Why do we give our power away in this way?
We expend a massive amount of energy trying to change our external circumstances or other people. We also expend a massive amount of energy trying to conceal the pain of our past. Anything we want to change or we’re afraid of or angry about or refuse to accept will keep us attached to our past and the beliefs or expectations that stemmed from our past. Resisting what is will never make it disappear.

How do we recognize our stress?
We know we are resisting i.e. experiencing stress when we experience physical manifestations such as a stiff neck, clenched jaw, headache, stomach ache, sighing and tightness in the chest, just to give a few examples. Once we recognize where our resistance or stress is anchoring in our body, we are able to identify it and the triggers more easily.

The root cause of all stress
The root cause of all stress is a lack of love and belief in ourselves. These feelings generate fear …fear of saying “no”, fear of setting boundaries with others, fear of putting our own needs first, fear of not having the approval of others, fear that we cannot survive without a certain job or partner….

What do we need to do to let go of our stress?
“The crucial times to let go are when you feel the strongest urge not to” (The Path to Love by Deepak Chopra page 170).

Once we accept that this is the way it is going to be with this job or this situation or this person or this quality about ourselves that we don’t like, we can stop resisting and let things flow effortlessly. This concept is referred to as “surrendering.” Our ego mistakes surrendering for failure and the end of power, but when we surrender, we transcend our ego and let go of control of circumstances over which we really never had any control anyway. We can stop forcing things and simply allow things to happen. We are most powerful when we are working with life rather than against it. Surrendering is stopping ourselves from doing the things that make us miserable, crazy or self-hating. When we stop abusing ourselves, love and healing can move in. This is when we can determine what we need to do to create joy in our lives.

What are you going to do differently in your life to ensure you experience the most joy in your life this holiday season?

If you love this blog, won’t you vote for us?  You’ll find the link in the sidebar to the right of this post. If you are reading this post via email, please click here to be taken to the website where you’ll find the vote box.  All you have to do is click on the box. There is nothing more required!  This automatically registers a vote for my blog. It’s quite simple.  Thank you for your support.

As always, I welcome your feedback. Would you like to connect? You can reach me via email or phone, leave a comment right here on the site, or click the contact tab at the bottom of the screen if you are reading this post on the website.

Until next time,

Meredith

11 Ways to Know If Your Child Is Emotionally Healthy

Kid's Life Coach OntarioIt is difficult to gauge one’s level of emotional health when most of us don’t even know what emotional health is. My intention is to show you how to know if your child is emotionally healthy, to explain what causes a child to be unhealthy emotionally and what you can do about it when they are not. We know our child is emotionally healthy by: Continue reading

The Resourceful Mother’s Secrets to Emotional Health

click image to enlarge

click image to enlarge

For the past three and a half years, I have been writing and publishing my second book, entitled “The Resourceful Mother’s Secrets to Emotional Health”.

We are not angry people who fight all the time and criticize others; that is not who we are. We are not the people who work ourselves to the bone to prove ourselves to others; that is not who we are. We are not constant complainers who can’t get anything to go the way we want it to in our lives; that is not who we are. We really are just peaceful, loving and happy individuals. Continue reading

Teaching Our Child to Express their ‘Negative’ Emotions

The Resourceful MotherThe first step in taking responsibility for ourselves and coming to know and love ourselves, is identifying, understanding, feeling and expressing our ‘negative’ emotions; self-esteem is based on the acceptance of all thoughts and feelings as one’s own. If we want our child to take responsibility for themselves and come to know and love themselves, we need to help them identify, understand, feel and express their emotions in the same way that we accomplish this task. In this way, they will learn to see feelings as information. As we learn to balance our own emotions, we are better able to show our child how to balance their emotions. It is through the sharing of emotions that we build our connection with our child and genuinely come to know them.

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The Importance of Speaking Our Truth

Speaking our truthThere comes a time in every person’s life when we need to make a decision – a decision to stand up for who we are; a decision to stand up and say what we believe in; a decision to expose secrets about ourselves that we have kept hidden; a decision to speak our truth. That time has come for me.

Many of you know that my thyroid has not worked properly for over a decade. It’s not a horrible situation and I take the lowest possible dose of natural thyroid but as long as I have had that imbalance, I have known that I have needed to speak my truth – there is always an emotional connection to our physical challenges. Please visit these prior blog posts on the subject; The Emotional Connection to Physical Illness and Emotional Causes of Physical Ailments.

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Causes and Help for Combatting Stress in Your Child

stressed kidsHere are some of the causes of stress, the impact of stress on the body, how to know if your child is stressed and a few unique ideas for combating stress. Only you, the parent, can help your child combat their stress.

Some of the Causes of Stress

Children certainly feel stress and anxiety. Many children are actually more sensitive to things being out of balance than are adults. Over-scheduling, working parents, social media and peer pressure, combined with a general lack of exercise are only some of the causes of this stress. High consumption of white sugar, white flour products and other refined foods also stress the body. If your child is eating foods to which they are sensitive, this also increases the stress levels in their body.

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Our Children Are Our Mirrors

The Resourceful MotherNot only do children often look like their parents, they often end up being like their parents.  We can literally view our children as hand mirrors that reflect not only the messages and cues they receive from us but also, our thoughts and actions.

If we are still wounded (incomplete or hurt) from our childhood, we will wound our child, usually without being conscious of it.  If we were not accepted by our parents for who we are, we, in turn, might not accept or value our child for who they are.  If we are worried about being separated from our child, bedtime might be a nightly battleground for us or our child might be worried about starting school and leaving us.  If we are frequently angry, we might teach our child to be angry.  If we have an exaggerated sense of responsibility for our child and allow our mind to work overtime, our child might be busy, restless or unable to fall asleep quickly or sleep soundly.  Unfortunately, whatever we have not dealt with from our past, we pass onto our children.

Whatever character trait we don’t like in our child usually mirrors something we don’t like in ourselves.   Each time a mother sees her daughter lazing about the house, she finds herself getting really angry.  Telling her daughter that she is lazy is not going to incite a work ethic in her; in fact it will accomplish the exact opposite and the daughter will only resent her mother for not seeing the beauty inside her.  When the mother delves into her deeper feelings about this, she realizes that she has a tendency to be lazy and has set this example for her daughter.  The mother has a choice as to whether she accepts her laziness and thereby accepts that aspect of herself or whether she takes steps to change that aspect of herself so that her daughter doesn’t adopt this trait for life.  There are positive aspects of each seemingly negative trait.  The mother may come to the realization that her laziness is a good thing because relaxing in our society is under-rated!  As long as we are accomplishing things at other times of the day, being lazy for a few hours a day can be just what the body and mind require.  When we become less critical of ourselves, we become more supportive of our children.  But if this mother feels that her laziness is too much for her liking, she may decide to start living her life in a way in which she could never be described as lazy and will get one step closer to becoming the energetic, goal-achieving person she wants to become.

One of the biggest tasks in parenting is seeing things from a perspective that does not necessarily come easily to us.  If we can look at each challenge with our child as an opportunity to understand ourselves more than ever before and as potential for further growth, this helps us ease up on our children and prevents us from seeing things as “wrong.”  In fact, this is how we convert our “problem child” into our teacher!

If you love this blog, won’t you vote for us?  You’ll find the link in the sidebar to the right of this post. If you are reading this post via email, please click here to be taken to the website where you’ll find the vote box.  Just click on the box. This registers a vote for my blog. There is nothing more you need to do! It’s quite simple. Thank you for your support.

Would you like to connect? You can reach me via email or phone, leave a comment right here on the site, or click the connect tab at the bottom of the screen if you are reading this post on the website.

Until next time,

Meredith