I want to tell you about a man who never knew how amazing a parent he truly was – my father

My father was the first father in Oakville to be awarded sole custody of his children….I was four years old and my brother was only one. My dad made every weekend an absolute delight. We hiked, biked, canoed, camped, and skiied regularly. We spent hours and hours at the library, Ontario Place, Harbourfront, Bronte Park, Algonquin, Grandview ..and so many other incredible places. We travelled all over Canada. He took us to meet Eskimos in the Yukon, went panning for gold and it was there that I caught my first fish with a smaller fish inside…

He made us tiny pancakes, cut all sorts of incredible shapes out of apples, made us ice cream cones with delicious candies embedded inside. We watched “Emergency”, the “Beachcombers” and Disney movies every Sunday night. He took us to the variety store where he taught us how to spend money wisely; he also taught us how to save. He converted an old tv into a puppet theatre. He watched every show my brother and I put on for him. He converted boxes into robots. We made forts with him in the snow and the leaves, as well as in our blankets and chairs inside. When it was a special occasion, he cut footprints out of paper and we had to follow them around the house to find our presents. He bought us big helium balloons and special, meaningful gifts. He went to a lot of work every April Fools’ Day. And Christmas was so abundant. When I only received one toy but a lot of clothes one Christmas, I cried. My Dad comforted me and explained that I was growing up and I didn’t need that many toys anymore. When we got home from visits with our mom, we found newspaper clippings on our desks that he thought would interest us, small items he thought we would like, and notes he had written us.

When my father put my brother and myself to bed, he told us wonderful stories that he made up all by himself. We spent hours each night in an even more beautiful world than this one. I used to have many nightmares. One night, my dad picked me up from my bed in my nighty and took me to the end of the driveway and set a fire there for me. We roasted marshmallows together.
My dad called me “Twinkle Toes” because of my zest for life. He told me I was brave. He told me I was important. He told me I could do anything and I knew he believed it. He told me when I made smart decisions. He helped me sort the lies out from the truth; I could always count on him to always be honest with me. He taught me values. He modelled integrity and hard work. He helped me with my school work, explaining the tricky concepts to me. My brother and I respected him so much that we never misbehaved. And we both knew how much love our father had for us; his eyes said it all.

When I reached the age of ten, my dad remarried. Our whole world turned upside down. My father put my stepmom in charge of raising us. We hardly saw him after that. He climbed to great positions in the corporate world. Years later, I came to realize that my Dad never knew his importance in our lives. He never knew what an incredible father he had been to us. My mother, nanny and then stepmom caused such pain for us that subconsciously he felt he had failed us.

My dad no longer speaks to me. He lives across the country from me. I never was able to convince him of what an amazing father he was. He has other children with my stepmom and they are a big part of his life now that he is retired: I am happy he is not alone. But I believe he hurts every day because he feels he failed my brother and me. I will always love my dad and be grateful for those first 10 years of my life with him. I hope that whatever my dad is doing today, he has a good Father’s Day.

A Letter to My Daughters This Mother’s Day

When I met the father of my girls, I told him that having children would be the most important thing I ever did with my life. This baffled him because I was such a corporate girl, at the time. Shortly after we were married, I even went so far as to tell him that I thought we should apply for adoption, in case we were never able to have children. That’s how important having children was to me.

Giving birth and raising my girls has been the greatest pleasure of my life. And having my girls led me to my calling. Because of what they taught me, I get to be a “mother” to many individuals, through my company “The Resourceful Mother”.

I am dedicating this blog post to my girls, Taylor and Paige. Oh boy, the tears have already started welling up in my eyes…

Dearest Taylor and Paige,

Your bodies taught me the value of eating healthily and we can see the results of doing so in all aspects of our lives. Your emotions have shown me the value of truly feeling, then encouraged me to learn how to process those emotions properly and, in turn, allowed us to always find the perspective we needed to heal from any situation. Your minds have challenged me to find greater wisdom, guiding us to learning unique information about this world. Your spirits caused me to probe deeper into what lies beyond that which we are able to see and, as a result, we know that we are never alone on this planet and that there are a multitude of beings that help us each and every day. Your hearts, open wide right from the start, pried mine wide open, which then allowed us to keep our hearts wide open, as we navigated the trials of being human.

I was not truly living until the two of you entered my life. I owe my energetic body, my deep joy, my unique wisdom, my deep connection to spirit and my great love and respect for myself and others to the two of you. And I now know that this is an opportunity that EVERY parent has when they give birth and raise a child.

We have spent almost 18 years learning from one another. This fall, you head off to university, Taylor. I don’t feel any pulls at my heart strings because I know I have done my job and you have done yours; I have full confidence that you have everything you need to venture forth in this world. And Paige, you will enter grade 11, and through your co-op, you will decide the direction you will take in venturing forth in this world. I have full confidence that you will make the right decision for you. Whether or not either one of you makes the large contribution to this world that you plan to make, our souls have evolved in the direction they were meant to go in.

I am infinitely grateful for the two of you. I thank you for the depth of our connection and for the profound joy and never-ending love that we experience. I thank you for giving me the family I always wanted so badly. Thank you for allowing me to celebrate the gift of YOU each Mother’s Day and every day of my life.

All my love and appreciation,

Mama

Life Coaching for me…

life coachingI was recently on a boat with a group of men that I didn’t know…yes, myself and four men…and they were guy’s guys, hard working, down-to-earth men. A few hours into the trip, they asked me what I did for a living. When I told them I was a life coach, one of them said “Well, I always thought that was rather a bogus profession. You are not a therapist and you are not a psychologist; what can a life coach really do?” Oh, how I love honesty… and challenging individuals; it must be the Aquarian in me. I responded by saying “Well, actually, the people I help the most with life coaching are guys in their twenties that are suicidal. They don’t want to see a therapist or a psychologist; most people don’t. I help these guys see themselves, their lives, and the people in it, with new perspective.” The men asked me if I had ever lost one of them and I was happy to tell them that I had not.

They asked me who else I help. I told them that one of my favourite things to do is to help family members or couples, who do not get along, forge a closeness they haven’t experienced in years, if ever. I told them that I could help any two individuals become close to one another, as long as they had the desire to become closer to one another. I explained that I have them stand on hearts and speak from their hearts to one another (as opposed to speaking from their heads) and that by the end of emptying their hearts, they stand together, on their two hearts, fully understanding one another and united.

The men were definitely interested in this. They asked me what helps me the most in my coaching. I said “My lack of judgment; I have come to understand that it’s very rare. When people know that I truly understand and love them, they feel safe to really open up and share their deepest fears and regrets with me. Their ability to be completely honest with me, allows me to truly help them.” This, of course, begs the question “How can you love people you have just met?” And my answer is “Because when you go through challenge after challenge and you come to love and forgive yourself, as well those that hurt you, you can’t help but be brimming with love for everyone that crosses your path.” Thank goodness, we didn’t have this part of the conversation or the guys would have likely thrown me overboard!

There are four other tools that help me with my life coaching:
1. The powerful questions that I ask so that my clients can search within themselves for their right answer and insight. I can never know the right answer for a client nor can I know when the timing is right for them to make a change.
2. My knowledge of holistic nutrition so that we can determine if there is a nutrient deficiency contributing to their lack of energy, depression or other challenge. And so that I can explain the emotional connection to their physical challenge or to any food/drink cravings they might have.
3. My ability to present individuals with options as to how to look at things and how to move forward. I find that people can’t always have the perspective they need on their own lives.
4. This one is my secret…only my clients know it!

I have been an accredited life coach since 2012 but I have studied people physically, mentally and emotionally my whole life. Don’t ask me about world events, finances or technology. Ask me about people and I will tell you everything you want to know. I am honoured to have been asked to help the suicidal teens in Woodstock, Ontario; I go there tomorrow with a group of other life coaches.

If you love this blog, won’t you vote for us?  You’ll find the link in the sidebar to the right of this post. If you are reading this post via email, please click here to be taken to the website where you’ll find the vote box.  All you have to do is click on the box. There is nothing more required!  This automatically registers a vote for my blog. It’s quite simple.  Thank you for your support.

As always, I welcome your feedback. Would you like to connect? You can reach me via email or phone, leave a comment right here on the site, or click the contact tab at the bottom of the screen if you are reading this post on the website.

Until next time,

Meredith

The Radiation in your Child’s Laptop and Cellphone is Harmful

kids and technology radiationDid you know the radiation in your child’s laptop and cellphone is harmful? All electronic devices, whether it be cell phones and towers, computers, televisions, cordless phones, microwaves, or high voltage electrical lines are becoming so commonplace and convenient that we are forgetting the adverse health effect that arise from them.

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The Power of Affirmations

bigstock-Stress-Management-in-word-coll-38840914I used to smoke cigarettes in my twenties.  Sometimes people would tell me that I didn’t look like a smoker (hmmm what does a smoker look like?) and they would ask me why I smoked.  I told them that I was rebelling from my childhood and that I would stop smoking, as soon as I became pregnant, believing that it would be entirely easy for me to do so.  As soon as I found out I was pregnant, which luckily was in the first few weeks of my pregnancy, I quit smoking (too bad it didn’t happen before I became pregnant!).  I never desired a cigarette again.  Who quits smoking without ever desiring to smoke again?  Only a person that had unknowingly used the power of an affirmation for over a decade and came to believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that they would accomplish that task, no problem.   This also showed me that whatever we believe and say, in our heads or out loud, is really an affirmation.

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Using Love to Discipline Your Child

3831272_sYour child misbehaved at school today and hit another child.  You learn of this and may be horrified that your child is a reflection of you.  You may be embarrassed that a child of yours committed such an act.  You know you need to teach your child that what they did was very wrong and completely unacceptable.  You speak sternly or yell at them or punish them in some way.  But what if you used love to discipline your child?

You know your child has been reprimanded by school authorities already and probably faced a whole other slew of problems with the child they hit.  The last thing you would want to do is hug your misbehaving child.  But isn’t that what love would do?  Or maybe your child is now a teen, who finds hugging to be completely uncool, and the last thing you would want to do is look at them with compassion in your eyes?

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