Our Halloween Candy Cravings Can Jumpstart Our Emotional Healing – Who Knew?

It’s easy to get carried away with eating candy and chocolate each Halloween. Candy and chocolate temporarily make us feel loved inside! Who knew that eating something could have that power? If we are able to eat treats on Halloween and maybe the next day and then leave them alone, we are in balance. But if we continue to crave sugar and chocolate, our cravings can be important messengers….

Cravings and their emotional connection

  • Are you craving cinnamon flavoured hard candies? This is a sign that you are tense and frightened. Cinnamon warms the body and reduces blood pressure.
  • Are you craving peppermint? You are likely feeling lethargic and need energy!
  • Are you craving coffee flavoured candy? You are likely exhausted and need a nap.
  • Are you craving peanut brittle? You might be frustrated that your life is lacking in fun and you might also be needing comfort.
  • Are you craving caramel? If so, you might be having troubles making decisions.
  • Are you craving licorice? This helps with anxiety and stress. Chewy foods in general alleviate stress.
  • Are you craving jelly beans? You might be juggling too many responsibilities, feeling as though you don’t have enough time.
  • Are you craving hard candy? The desire to crunch indicates some anger, anxiety or stress.
  • Are you craving a sucker or candy that you can suck on? This signifies some boredom or impatience?
  • Are you craving chocolate? Each kind of chocolate bar has its’ own emotional connection but generally when we crave chocolate, we crave love, support and encouragement.

What can you do to eliminate your cravings?

If you analyze your cravings and identify any of these underlying emotions, you can directly confront your underlying emotions by asking yourself if you need someone to talk to, if you need to set up some healthy boundaries or if you need to make changes in your life.

You can avoid keeping candy available or visible in your home – certain types of people are more prone to emotional eating than others. If you can be honest with yourself and know that you will eat the treats if they are in your home, it helps you avoid bringing them into your home to begin with!

You can allow yourself small amounts of candy – there is no need to completely avoid it. When we binge on candy, it can be due to long periods of deprivation.

You can say affirmations to help you overcome your emotional challenges so that you don’t crave sweets. An example might be “I have enough energy to accomplish all my goals” or “I live my life by listening to my intuition” or “It’s okay for me to have more fun in my life and I am thinking of new ways to do that all the time” or “I am strong, loved and supported.”

For more information on your food cravings, read “Constant Cravings” by Doreen Virtue. I highly recommend it! And I do hope you have a happy halloween filled with surprises and absolute delight!

Why Counting Your Blessings is The Most Important Thing You Can Do with Your Life

The very first official Thanksgiving was celebrated in Canada on November 6, 1879. It was at this time, that Parliament passed a law designating this national day of thanksgiving, to celebrate the harvest and other blessings of the prior year. In fact, the indigenous people in Canada celebrated the full harvest, long before the arrival of the European settlers and the actual designation of the day.

As we look at Thanksgiving, over the course of our lives, we might notice the changes in who we celebrated with, what we ate, what town or city we were in and where we were at in our lives. And many of you might have noticed that there was only one constant…yourself. You were there each and every year, hopefully celebrating the harvest of your life, particularly the blessings you experienced in the prior year.

Have you ever been in a bad mood and only seen the areas of your life that were not going well? Of course, you have! This happens to everyone. It’s the way our minds work….unless we train them to do otherwise.

I have a friend who has allowed her mind to always remind her of what was going wrong in her life. And everything was always going wrong in her life. I explained to her that until she decides to stop being a victim, nothing will get better for her. I explained to her that whatever we focus on in our lives is what persists. And I explained that her underlying challenge was that her horrific childhood made her believe that she didn’t deserve anything better in her life. I talked to her about this for years, telling her that one day she will DECIDE that she deserves and wants more for herself. I told her she could stay in this place for as long as she wanted but that one day she would know when the pain was too great to remain where she was.

Recently, she was in a restaurant with a friend when a car came smashing through the window and stopped within a few feet of where she was sitting!!! She contacted me immediately and wanted to discuss the significance of the incident. She determined that her life was spared for a reason. The car came way too close to her without actually hitting her. The next week, she called in desperation because she was confined to her apartment for many days because a sickness she had contracted was contagious. I explained that it was now time to go into quiet contemplation, so that she could DECIDE how she was really going to LIVE her life. I suggested reading and immersing herself in things she loved doing. She did just that.

This Thanksgiving weekend, she told me that she turned down a dinner invitation from a friend who truly did not appreciate her. She shared a meal with her nephew and his son and spent hours in the park together; she thoroughly enjoyed a free Thanksgiving dinner at the community centre; she finished reading a book and has started another one (and this woman doesn’t read!). This Thanksgiving, I celebrate the commencement of her healing; this is a HUGE feat for this 52 year old woman who has hardly spent any time counting her blessings until now.

 

As for myself, I got to celebrate Thanksgiving with both of my girls. We picked apples that Taylor made into a scrumptious pie. And we had a traditional multi-dish meal with the man and woman, who are the parents I always wanted but never had, until eight years ago! Could I write pages about the things I am grateful for? No question. Is that the number one thing I do that makes me so happy and healthy, despite the challenges I have faced in my life? It absolutely is.

Hoping you had the most delightful Thanksgiving weekend. And if it wasn’t, you know what to do next year at this time.

Narcissists – Identifying and Understanding Them

I spend a lot of time in my life coaching sessions helping clients understand and cope with Narcissists, which made me realize that we need a greater understanding, as a whole, on this topic. The term “Narcissist” is used loosely and frequently, without necessarily knowing if a person truly fits the proper definition. In fact, Narcissists are omni-present and their numbers are on the rise.

Recently, a nationally representative sample of 35,000 Americans found that 6% of Americans, 1 out of 16, had experienced Narcissistic Personality Disorder at some point in their lives. Most of us know at least one Narcissist; some of us are related to one; some of us married one and some of us are or were friends with one.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Although mental health professionals are the best ones to diagnose this condition, here are some markers for identifying a Narcissist.  A Narcissist is an individual who:

  • Has a very low self-esteem but who appears to mask it well
  • Needs constant external validation; they crave admiration and validation
  • Is always trying to prove they are superior to others; their desire to win at all costs is all encompassing
  • Is extremely self-centered
  • Is very one-minded; they can only see things from their own perspective
  • Is hypersensitive to feeling slighted or mistreated in any way; they feel insulted and criticized when no insult or criticism was intended and they are always on the defensive
  • Always believes they are the innocent victim and that others are hostile perpetrators
  • Is willing to de-value and humiliate other people
  • Feels no pain when they hurt others; if they do feel pain, it’s a lot less than others would feel
  • Has hierarchical thinking, meaning that every person or object (they are very materialistic as well) is placed on a scale. They have troubles believing anyone is their equal.
  • Have disproportionate anger; they get very angry at things that seem quite minor to others
  • Uses extreme language; they refer to others as “perfect” , “the best” or “the absolute worst” and there is nothing in between
  • Uses cruel and inappropriate language; they say things out loud that others might think but don’t voice for fear of hurting others i.e. “That is the dumbest waitress I’ve ever had.”
  • Have an inability to genuinely apologize or admit mistakes; they do not have a stable enough self-esteem to admit their mistakes and feel if they admit their mistakes, their facade of perfection will end or another will humiliate them
  • Has a difficult time sustaining serious, intimate relationships

What is THE key to understanding Narcissists?

When a child experiences a lot of pain and their self-esteem is destroyed, Narcissism can be the result. When one does not receive the love they need, they can become “selfish” and spend the rest of their lives trying to meet their own needs in unhealthy ways. And certainly, our celebrity culture, media and the internet are contributing to the rise in this self-centered way of thinking.

When we understand that a Narcissist is simply coping with their pain, it can help ignite compassion within us. Having this information can help us refrain from taking a Narcissist’s actions or words personally and assist us in dealing with them effectively. The key to healing narcissistic thoughts is to become aware of them and then take the steps to coming to love oneself (outlined in my book “The Resourceful Mother’s Secrets to Emotional Health”). Taking these steps teaches an individual how to increase their self-esteem, so that they can internally validate themselves, as opposed to seeking external validation.

Sources Used: “The Truth about Narcissistic Personality Disorder” by Elinor Greenberg PhD, CGP in Psychology Today and “Narcissism Epidemic: Why There Are So Many Narcissists Now” by Lindsay Lyon, Staff Writer, US News.

I want to tell you about a man who never knew how amazing a parent he truly was – my father

My father was the first father in Oakville to be awarded sole custody of his children….I was four years old and my brother was only one. My dad made every weekend an absolute delight. We hiked, biked, canoed, camped, and skiied regularly. We spent hours and hours at the library, Ontario Place, Harbourfront, Bronte Park, Algonquin, Grandview ..and so many other incredible places. We travelled all over Canada. He took us to meet Eskimos in the Yukon, went panning for gold and it was there that I caught my first fish with a smaller fish inside…

He made us tiny pancakes, cut all sorts of incredible shapes out of apples, made us ice cream cones with delicious candies embedded inside. We watched “Emergency”, the “Beachcombers” and Disney movies every Sunday night. He took us to the variety store where he taught us how to spend money wisely; he also taught us how to save. He converted an old tv into a puppet theatre. He watched every show my brother and I put on for him. He converted boxes into robots. We made forts with him in the snow and the leaves, as well as in our blankets and chairs inside. When it was a special occasion, he cut footprints out of paper and we had to follow them around the house to find our presents. He bought us big helium balloons and special, meaningful gifts. He went to a lot of work every April Fools’ Day. And Christmas was so abundant. When I only received one toy but a lot of clothes one Christmas, I cried. My Dad comforted me and explained that I was growing up and I didn’t need that many toys anymore. When we got home from visits with our mom, we found newspaper clippings on our desks that he thought would interest us, small items he thought we would like, and notes he had written us.

When my father put my brother and myself to bed, he told us wonderful stories that he made up all by himself. We spent hours each night in an even more beautiful world than this one. I used to have many nightmares. One night, my dad picked me up from my bed in my nighty and took me to the end of the driveway and set a fire there for me. We roasted marshmallows together.
My dad called me “Twinkle Toes” because of my zest for life. He told me I was brave. He told me I was important. He told me I could do anything and I knew he believed it. He told me when I made smart decisions. He helped me sort the lies out from the truth; I could always count on him to always be honest with me. He taught me values. He modelled integrity and hard work. He helped me with my school work, explaining the tricky concepts to me. My brother and I respected him so much that we never misbehaved. And we both knew how much love our father had for us; his eyes said it all.

When I reached the age of ten, my dad remarried. Our whole world turned upside down. My father put my stepmom in charge of raising us. We hardly saw him after that. He climbed to great positions in the corporate world. Years later, I came to realize that my Dad never knew his importance in our lives. He never knew what an incredible father he had been to us. My mother, nanny and then stepmom caused such pain for us that subconsciously he felt he had failed us.

My dad no longer speaks to me. He lives across the country from me. I never was able to convince him of what an amazing father he was. He has other children with my stepmom and they are a big part of his life now that he is retired: I am happy he is not alone. But I believe he hurts every day because he feels he failed my brother and me. I will always love my dad and be grateful for those first 10 years of my life with him. I hope that whatever my dad is doing today, he has a good Father’s Day.

A Letter to My Daughters This Mother’s Day

When I met the father of my girls, I told him that having children would be the most important thing I ever did with my life. This baffled him because I was such a corporate girl, at the time. Shortly after we were married, I even went so far as to tell him that I thought we should apply for adoption, in case we were never able to have children. That’s how important having children was to me.

Giving birth and raising my girls has been the greatest pleasure of my life. And having my girls led me to my calling. Because of what they taught me, I get to be a “mother” to many individuals, through my company “The Resourceful Mother”.

I am dedicating this blog post to my girls, Taylor and Paige. Oh boy, the tears have already started welling up in my eyes…

Dearest Taylor and Paige,

Your bodies taught me the value of eating healthily and we can see the results of doing so in all aspects of our lives. Your emotions have shown me the value of truly feeling, then encouraged me to learn how to process those emotions properly and, in turn, allowed us to always find the perspective we needed to heal from any situation. Your minds have challenged me to find greater wisdom, guiding us to learning unique information about this world. Your spirits caused me to probe deeper into what lies beyond that which we are able to see and, as a result, we know that we are never alone on this planet and that there are a multitude of beings that help us each and every day. Your hearts, open wide right from the start, pried mine wide open, which then allowed us to keep our hearts wide open, as we navigated the trials of being human.

I was not truly living until the two of you entered my life. I owe my energetic body, my deep joy, my unique wisdom, my deep connection to spirit and my great love and respect for myself and others to the two of you. And I now know that this is an opportunity that EVERY parent has when they give birth and raise a child.

We have spent almost 18 years learning from one another. This fall, you head off to university, Taylor. I don’t feel any pulls at my heart strings because I know I have done my job and you have done yours; I have full confidence that you have everything you need to venture forth in this world. And Paige, you will enter grade 11, and through your co-op, you will decide the direction you will take in venturing forth in this world. I have full confidence that you will make the right decision for you. Whether or not either one of you makes the large contribution to this world that you plan to make, our souls have evolved in the direction they were meant to go in.

I am infinitely grateful for the two of you. I thank you for the depth of our connection and for the profound joy and never-ending love that we experience. I thank you for giving me the family I always wanted so badly. Thank you for allowing me to celebrate the gift of YOU each Mother’s Day and every day of my life.

All my love and appreciation,

Mama

My Delight in Discovering Kiss Me Organics’ Organic Dandelion Root Tea

Kiss Me OrganicsAs a nutritionist, I am well aware of the nutritional value of herbal teas and drink them often to obtain the nutrients my body craves.  When I learned of Kiss Me Organics’ Dandelion Root Tea, I was absolutely amazed.

Here are the Benefits of Dandelion Root:

  1. Cleanses the liver and helps eliminate acidity and toxins from the body
  2. Contains a lot of Minerals, particularly iron, zinc, calcium and potassium
  3. Is loaded with Vitamins A, C, D and B complex (helpful for stress!)
  4. Is recognized as a great blood builder and purifier
  5. Supports healthy digestion and therefore helps the body absorb nutrients better
  6. Is a mild diuretic. Because potassium is often lost when using regular diuretics, dandelion root is a much better choice
  7. Lowers cholesterol. One study showed that dandelion root lowered the LDL and triglycerides in mice, while increasing HDL
  8. Contains organic sodium, which is needed when there is a deficiency of nutritive salts

And the tea is organic, meaning that there is even more nutrient value in this tea than non-organic forms, and there is no sugar or artificial flavouring. Plus, unlike other brands of Dandelion Root Tea, this one has RAW dandelion, meaning all the enzymes are intact.

And get this!  It contains hibiscus and cinnamon too!  Both of these foods regulate blood sugar.  When our blood sugar is stable, we concentrate better; our energy stays high and our moods remain stable.

As if that is not enough, the tea is truly delicious! Lots of health bloggers and celebrities are even drinking the tea, such as Jillian Michaels and Kim Kardashian.

The tea is easy to order.  Simply click on the link: www.kissmeorganics.com/dandelionhealth. To help kick-start your healthy drinking, there is a 10% discount and free shipping included if you order now!

Thanks to Kiss Me Organics, I have now made their Organic Dandelion Root Tea a regular indulgence in my life.  It is truly incredible to me that a tea can offer this much.    

Meredith Deasley, BA, RHN, RNCP, ACC is a registered Holistic Nutritionist and Certified Life Coach and owner of the company called The Resourceful Mother.  She has been dedicated to connecting families to health and happiness, since 2002.  She has authored two books, one on physical healing and one on emotional healing.  Her company www.theresourcefulmother.com is dedicated to finding the most pure and nutritious foods & supplements to recommend to families around the world.

Obesity Need Not Be an Epidemic

When is it about me? I was just speaking with a client this morning who stated that she needs to lose 100 pounds. Her hair analysis report shows that her thyroid is low, despite her doctor telling her it was normal (doctors’ tests have a huge normal range when it comes to the thyroid). She has all the symptoms of hypothyroidism, which seriously affects metabolism. Her liver also needs to be brought into balance to help level out her hormones. She told me that it saddens her so much when others just assume she ‘eats like a pig’ and she knows she doesn’t. I explained to her that when one has a low thyroid, the emotional connection is that they are often doing too much for others and not enough for themselves. The subconscious asks “When is it about me?” This is why so many mothers have low thyroid! And then they get judged for weight gain when they are simply doing too much for their families and not enough for themselves 🙁

Weight gain also occurs when a child or adult is not properly absorbing their vitamins and minerals – mal-absorption is rampant in North America. When we don’t properly absorb nutrients, we continually eat food, searching for the nutrients we so desperately need. This calls for the healing of the intestine so that it can function properly.

More and more, we are hearing that cleanses (e.g. candida, parasite) help individuals lose weight and keep weight off. There is a particular way and order to doing cleanses so that the body learns how to properly eliminate toxins and then shed weight. Having lots of filtered water also cleans the garbage out of our bodies.

FOODFood sensitivities and allergies can add piles of weight to a child’s or adult’s body. When we react adversely to a food, it causes inflammation or swelling in the body. The problematic foods are most often dairy, wheat and sugar i.e. the foods most of us eat regularly!

Vitamin and mineral deficiencies can decrease energy levels, preventing individuals from having the motivation to exercise and causing them to crave sugar. Lack of probiotics or essential fatty acids can contribute to the colon being sluggish. Vitamin C and Magnesium are natural laxatives! These are just a few examples of how having enough of certain vitamins and minerals can keep us slim.

Obesity - Causes and EffectsAnd then there is the emotional connection to obesity. When we are overweight, we are protecting ourselves from others or from situations in our lives where we don’t feel safe or accepted. We are rejecting parts of ourselves and running away from our negative feelings. We seek fulfillment.

So, you see, there are so many important aspects to look at when we want to lose weight. Maybe now, you can see why diets rarely work!! These physical and emotional contributors must be explored in helping children and adults alike become the healthiest possible.

You Are A Gift

Merry Christmas - You Are A GiftIn the holiday season, you might find yourself hustling and bustling, thinking of what you are going to buy or bake or how you will decorate your home or how you will plan for a party… and this is all on top of living your regular life! You might be worrying about relationships, your success or your heath. You might feel overwhelmed, confused, impatient or even angry. You might have troubles falling asleep or staying asleep, as the torrent of your thoughts piles through your head. The possibilities of where your mind can take you are absolutely endless. But, notice I have just reminded you that it is your thoughts that you allow to control you. Your thoughts are not who you are.

At our core, we are innate goodness and love. Who we are, as young children, is who we really are – loving, trusting, free, imaginative and completely accepting.

When we come to love ourselves, we gradually let go of our worries and fears and open our hearts. It is more natural for us to love and have positive feelings than to fear and have negative feelings. When we discover our inner beauty, we come alive again and our biggest needs are met. We are able to relate lovingly to others and know how to embrace the present moment.

I ask you to stop being so hard on yourself. I ask you to take stock of the person you have become. Take stock of your accomplishments. All challenges and regrets are learning ground. Take stock of what you have learned. Take stock of all the aspects of your life that are not as you want them to be. Be thankful that it’s those aspects of your life that are not as you want them to be, as opposed to others. Be grateful for where you are right now, in this very moment. I ask you to be grateful for it all until feelings of acceptance and understanding engulf you.

I am imagining you experiencing these feelings and your smile as it spreads across your face. I am imagining your eyes shining brightly. I am feeling the love within you come alive. YOU are a GIFT. You have talents unique to you, you are loved, you are perfect just the way you are and your life is exactly the way it is supposed to be at this time. If in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, my message reminds you that you are a gift, I have done my job.

As always, I welcome your feedback. Would you like to connect? You can reach me via email or phone, leave a comment right here on the site, or click the contact tab at the bottom of the screen if you are reading this post on the website.

Until next time,

Meredith

Life Coaching for me…

life coachingI was recently on a boat with a group of men that I didn’t know…yes, myself and four men…and they were guy’s guys, hard working, down-to-earth men. A few hours into the trip, they asked me what I did for a living. When I told them I was a life coach, one of them said “Well, I always thought that was rather a bogus profession. You are not a therapist and you are not a psychologist; what can a life coach really do?” Oh, how I love honesty… and challenging individuals; it must be the Aquarian in me. I responded by saying “Well, actually, the people I help the most with life coaching are guys in their twenties that are suicidal. They don’t want to see a therapist or a psychologist; most people don’t. I help these guys see themselves, their lives, and the people in it, with new perspective.” The men asked me if I had ever lost one of them and I was happy to tell them that I had not.

They asked me who else I help. I told them that one of my favourite things to do is to help family members or couples, who do not get along, forge a closeness they haven’t experienced in years, if ever. I told them that I could help any two individuals become close to one another, as long as they had the desire to become closer to one another. I explained that I have them stand on hearts and speak from their hearts to one another (as opposed to speaking from their heads) and that by the end of emptying their hearts, they stand together, on their two hearts, fully understanding one another and united.

The men were definitely interested in this. They asked me what helps me the most in my coaching. I said “My lack of judgment; I have come to understand that it’s very rare. When people know that I truly understand and love them, they feel safe to really open up and share their deepest fears and regrets with me. Their ability to be completely honest with me, allows me to truly help them.” This, of course, begs the question “How can you love people you have just met?” And my answer is “Because when you go through challenge after challenge and you come to love and forgive yourself, as well those that hurt you, you can’t help but be brimming with love for everyone that crosses your path.” Thank goodness, we didn’t have this part of the conversation or the guys would have likely thrown me overboard!

There are four other tools that help me with my life coaching:
1. The powerful questions that I ask so that my clients can search within themselves for their right answer and insight. I can never know the right answer for a client nor can I know when the timing is right for them to make a change.
2. My knowledge of holistic nutrition so that we can determine if there is a nutrient deficiency contributing to their lack of energy, depression or other challenge. And so that I can explain the emotional connection to their physical challenge or to any food/drink cravings they might have.
3. My ability to present individuals with options as to how to look at things and how to move forward. I find that people can’t always have the perspective they need on their own lives.
4. This one is my secret…only my clients know it!

I have been an accredited life coach since 2012 but I have studied people physically, mentally and emotionally my whole life. Don’t ask me about world events, finances or technology. Ask me about people and I will tell you everything you want to know. I am honoured to have been asked to help the suicidal teens in Woodstock, Ontario; I go there tomorrow with a group of other life coaches.

If you love this blog, won’t you vote for us?  You’ll find the link in the sidebar to the right of this post. If you are reading this post via email, please click here to be taken to the website where you’ll find the vote box.  All you have to do is click on the box. There is nothing more required!  This automatically registers a vote for my blog. It’s quite simple.  Thank you for your support.

As always, I welcome your feedback. Would you like to connect? You can reach me via email or phone, leave a comment right here on the site, or click the contact tab at the bottom of the screen if you are reading this post on the website.

Until next time,

Meredith

Nutrition in Simple Terms – Back to Basics

Mum’s Original™ Products

I attended my first LIPS (Ladies in Philanthropy for Southlake) event at Nature’s Emporium Health Store the week before last.  I had no idea of what to expect but low and behold, the keynote speaker explained nutrition in the clearest manner I had ever experienced in all the years I have been attending nutrition seminars and classes.

Ann Barnes surrendered her legal career to start a company that is improving the health of this world at a rapid pace. It is called Mum’s Original™. Each of the women in the large audience were given a copy of Ann’s book called Better Being and a box containing samples of 8 of the different Mum’s Original™ products plus two different cookies made of two different sets of ingredients from Ann’s products.  Ann proceeded to explain the health benefits of eating hemp, chia, gogi berries, oats, cacao, coconut sugar, banana powder and quinoa while we, the audience had the opportunity to try each food.  What a delightful way to learn!  Ann’s generosity was truly unheard of but so fully appreciated by the ladies in attendance.

So, a little about Mum’s Original™….  They make some of the healthiest and best-tasting foods available to mankind.  Their “back to basics” approach to sensible food, conscientious farming and wholesome goodness embraces many of the simple principles our grandparents understood. Natural and organic ingredients are farmed the old fashioned way, combined and then sold in eco-friendly packaging.  There are no man-made toxins in the farming or production and all products are non-GMO and grown without herbicides or pesticides.

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