I want to tell you about a man who never knew how amazing a parent he truly was – my father

My father was the first father in Oakville to be awarded sole custody of his children….I was four years old and my brother was only one. My dad made every weekend an absolute delight. We hiked, biked, canoed, camped, and skiied regularly. We spent hours and hours at the library, Ontario Place, Harbourfront, Bronte Park, Algonquin, Grandview ..and so many other incredible places. We travelled all over Canada. He took us to meet Eskimos in the Yukon, went panning for gold and it was there that I caught my first fish with a smaller fish inside…

He made us tiny pancakes, cut all sorts of incredible shapes out of apples, made us ice cream cones with delicious candies embedded inside. We watched “Emergency”, the “Beachcombers” and Disney movies every Sunday night. He took us to the variety store where he taught us how to spend money wisely; he also taught us how to save. He converted an old tv into a puppet theatre. He watched every show my brother and I put on for him. He converted boxes into robots. We made forts with him in the snow and the leaves, as well as in our blankets and chairs inside. When it was a special occasion, he cut footprints out of paper and we had to follow them around the house to find our presents. He bought us big helium balloons and special, meaningful gifts. He went to a lot of work every April Fools’ Day. And Christmas was so abundant. When I only received one toy but a lot of clothes one Christmas, I cried. My Dad comforted me and explained that I was growing up and I didn’t need that many toys anymore. When we got home from visits with our mom, we found newspaper clippings on our desks that he thought would interest us, small items he thought we would like, and notes he had written us.

When my father put my brother and myself to bed, he told us wonderful stories that he made up all by himself. We spent hours each night in an even more beautiful world than this one. I used to have many nightmares. One night, my dad picked me up from my bed in my nighty and took me to the end of the driveway and set a fire there for me. We roasted marshmallows together.
My dad called me “Twinkle Toes” because of my zest for life. He told me I was brave. He told me I was important. He told me I could do anything and I knew he believed it. He told me when I made smart decisions. He helped me sort the lies out from the truth; I could always count on him to always be honest with me. He taught me values. He modelled integrity and hard work. He helped me with my school work, explaining the tricky concepts to me. My brother and I respected him so much that we never misbehaved. And we both knew how much love our father had for us; his eyes said it all.

When I reached the age of ten, my dad remarried. Our whole world turned upside down. My father put my stepmom in charge of raising us. We hardly saw him after that. He climbed to great positions in the corporate world. Years later, I came to realize that my Dad never knew his importance in our lives. He never knew what an incredible father he had been to us. My mother, nanny and then stepmom caused such pain for us that subconsciously he felt he had failed us.

My dad no longer speaks to me. He lives across the country from me. I never was able to convince him of what an amazing father he was. He has other children with my stepmom and they are a big part of his life now that he is retired: I am happy he is not alone. But I believe he hurts every day because he feels he failed my brother and me. I will always love my dad and be grateful for those first 10 years of my life with him. I hope that whatever my dad is doing today, he has a good Father’s Day.

A Letter to My Daughters This Mother’s Day

When I met the father of my girls, I told him that having children would be the most important thing I ever did with my life. This baffled him because I was such a corporate girl, at the time. Shortly after we were married, I even went so far as to tell him that I thought we should apply for adoption, in case we were never able to have children. That’s how important having children was to me.

Giving birth and raising my girls has been the greatest pleasure of my life. And having my girls led me to my calling. Because of what they taught me, I get to be a “mother” to many individuals, through my company “The Resourceful Mother”.

I am dedicating this blog post to my girls, Taylor and Paige. Oh boy, the tears have already started welling up in my eyes…

Dearest Taylor and Paige,

Your bodies taught me the value of eating healthily and we can see the results of doing so in all aspects of our lives. Your emotions have shown me the value of truly feeling, then encouraged me to learn how to process those emotions properly and, in turn, allowed us to always find the perspective we needed to heal from any situation. Your minds have challenged me to find greater wisdom, guiding us to learning unique information about this world. Your spirits caused me to probe deeper into what lies beyond that which we are able to see and, as a result, we know that we are never alone on this planet and that there are a multitude of beings that help us each and every day. Your hearts, open wide right from the start, pried mine wide open, which then allowed us to keep our hearts wide open, as we navigated the trials of being human.

I was not truly living until the two of you entered my life. I owe my energetic body, my deep joy, my unique wisdom, my deep connection to spirit and my great love and respect for myself and others to the two of you. And I now know that this is an opportunity that EVERY parent has when they give birth and raise a child.

We have spent almost 18 years learning from one another. This fall, you head off to university, Taylor. I don’t feel any pulls at my heart strings because I know I have done my job and you have done yours; I have full confidence that you have everything you need to venture forth in this world. And Paige, you will enter grade 11, and through your co-op, you will decide the direction you will take in venturing forth in this world. I have full confidence that you will make the right decision for you. Whether or not either one of you makes the large contribution to this world that you plan to make, our souls have evolved in the direction they were meant to go in.

I am infinitely grateful for the two of you. I thank you for the depth of our connection and for the profound joy and never-ending love that we experience. I thank you for giving me the family I always wanted so badly. Thank you for allowing me to celebrate the gift of YOU each Mother’s Day and every day of my life.

All my love and appreciation,

Mama

Helping Individuals Clear their Emotional Blocks

mental blockYou all know that I absolutely love what I do with my life coaching but I felt the need to explain in greater detail why it fascinates me so much!!!
A boy in his twenties came to me, who had been depressed for a couple of years. Within a few sessions of asking him powerful questions (that is their actual name) and doing some sub-conscious work, he realized that he didn’t want to become successful because he didn’t want his mother to take the credit. Wow! You see how our thoughts determine our reality? I helped him understand this concept and then asked him if he was done suffering…I then helped him forgive his mother and set goals for his future. He is now in law school and, last time I saw him, he was literally on top of the world.

“Any belief that contradicts our innate greatness needs to be addressed if we want to meet our own needs” Meredith Deasley – The Resourceful Mother’s Secrets to Emotional Health

A woman in her thirties came to me to help her put an end to her emotional eating, which she had been doing for years. In our third session together, we uncovered that she had not forgiven herself for marrying her husband! You might think that the solution would have to been to help her end her marriage but you would be wrong! We just needed to determine how she was going to turn things around with him by coming to love herself first. I ended up teaching her at CSNN and was pleased to learn that she was now happy in her relationship.

“When we bare our souls and speak from the deepest parts of ourselves, with complete honesty and humiliation, we allow ourselves to heal.” Meredith Deasley – The Resourceful Mother’s Secrets to Emotional Health

A woman in her forties came to me to help her live the life she had always wanted for herself. It turns out that she had not forgiven herself for something her father had forced her to do as a child. She had never told anyone about this incident before. Knowing what I knew of her father, I asked her if he had threatened to kill her if she did not comply with his wishes. She said that that is exactly what he had done. I explained that a young child will do anything to survive and that she can stop blaming herself. Suffering ceases to be suffering when we form a clear picture of it in our minds. My client began setting healthy boundaries with the men in her life from that point forward. She is now slowly taking the steps to living the live she always wanted for herself.

“It is when we allow our negative stories to define us and determine what is possible for ourselves that we stifle our growth as individuals” Meredith Deasley – The Resourceful Mother’s Secrets to Emotional Health

Ironically, we already are what we spend our lives trying to be. My job is to help others see their own greatness. Now do you see why I love what I do so much?

If you love this blog, won’t you vote for us?  You’ll find the link in the sidebar to the right of this post. If you are reading this post via email, please click here to be taken to the website where you’ll find the vote box.  All you have to do is click on the box. There is nothing more required!  This automatically registers a vote for my blog. It’s quite simple.  Thank you for your support.

As always, I welcome your feedback. Would you like to connect? You can reach me via email or phone, leave a comment right here on the site, or click the contact tab at the bottom of the screen if you are reading this post on the website.

Until next time,

Meredith

Life Coaching for me…

life coachingI was recently on a boat with a group of men that I didn’t know…yes, myself and four men…and they were guy’s guys, hard working, down-to-earth men. A few hours into the trip, they asked me what I did for a living. When I told them I was a life coach, one of them said “Well, I always thought that was rather a bogus profession. You are not a therapist and you are not a psychologist; what can a life coach really do?” Oh, how I love honesty… and challenging individuals; it must be the Aquarian in me. I responded by saying “Well, actually, the people I help the most with life coaching are guys in their twenties that are suicidal. They don’t want to see a therapist or a psychologist; most people don’t. I help these guys see themselves, their lives, and the people in it, with new perspective.” The men asked me if I had ever lost one of them and I was happy to tell them that I had not.

They asked me who else I help. I told them that one of my favourite things to do is to help family members or couples, who do not get along, forge a closeness they haven’t experienced in years, if ever. I told them that I could help any two individuals become close to one another, as long as they had the desire to become closer to one another. I explained that I have them stand on hearts and speak from their hearts to one another (as opposed to speaking from their heads) and that by the end of emptying their hearts, they stand together, on their two hearts, fully understanding one another and united.

The men were definitely interested in this. They asked me what helps me the most in my coaching. I said “My lack of judgment; I have come to understand that it’s very rare. When people know that I truly understand and love them, they feel safe to really open up and share their deepest fears and regrets with me. Their ability to be completely honest with me, allows me to truly help them.” This, of course, begs the question “How can you love people you have just met?” And my answer is “Because when you go through challenge after challenge and you come to love and forgive yourself, as well those that hurt you, you can’t help but be brimming with love for everyone that crosses your path.” Thank goodness, we didn’t have this part of the conversation or the guys would have likely thrown me overboard!

There are four other tools that help me with my life coaching:
1. The powerful questions that I ask so that my clients can search within themselves for their right answer and insight. I can never know the right answer for a client nor can I know when the timing is right for them to make a change.
2. My knowledge of holistic nutrition so that we can determine if there is a nutrient deficiency contributing to their lack of energy, depression or other challenge. And so that I can explain the emotional connection to their physical challenge or to any food/drink cravings they might have.
3. My ability to present individuals with options as to how to look at things and how to move forward. I find that people can’t always have the perspective they need on their own lives.
4. This one is my secret…only my clients know it!

I have been an accredited life coach since 2012 but I have studied people physically, mentally and emotionally my whole life. Don’t ask me about world events, finances or technology. Ask me about people and I will tell you everything you want to know. I am honoured to have been asked to help the suicidal teens in Woodstock, Ontario; I go there tomorrow with a group of other life coaches.

If you love this blog, won’t you vote for us?  You’ll find the link in the sidebar to the right of this post. If you are reading this post via email, please click here to be taken to the website where you’ll find the vote box.  All you have to do is click on the box. There is nothing more required!  This automatically registers a vote for my blog. It’s quite simple.  Thank you for your support.

As always, I welcome your feedback. Would you like to connect? You can reach me via email or phone, leave a comment right here on the site, or click the contact tab at the bottom of the screen if you are reading this post on the website.

Until next time,

Meredith

Stress – Its Underlying Cause

what causes stressStress is the underlying cause behind much of the illness we experience. Irritable Bowel Syndrome is a perfect example of a stress-induced illness. But what is the root cause of stress? When we experience stress, we are resisting the flow of life. Stress is not caused by the circumstances of our lives but by our reaction to the choices we have made that result in the circumstances of our lives.

When the circumstances of our lives or people don’t meet our approval, we focus our energy on trying to control or change our external circumstances or the people in our lives. Or we bend over backwards to please the people in our lives. Why do we give our power away in this way?
We expend a massive amount of energy trying to change our external circumstances or other people. We also expend a massive amount of energy trying to conceal the pain of our past. Anything we want to change or we’re afraid of or angry about or refuse to accept will keep us attached to our past and the beliefs or expectations that stemmed from our past. Resisting what is will never make it disappear.

How do we recognize our stress?
We know we are resisting i.e. experiencing stress when we experience physical manifestations such as a stiff neck, clenched jaw, headache, stomach ache, sighing and tightness in the chest, just to give a few examples. Once we recognize where our resistance or stress is anchoring in our body, we are able to identify it and the triggers more easily.

The root cause of all stress
The root cause of all stress is a lack of love and belief in ourselves. These feelings generate fear …fear of saying “no”, fear of setting boundaries with others, fear of putting our own needs first, fear of not having the approval of others, fear that we cannot survive without a certain job or partner….

What do we need to do to let go of our stress?
“The crucial times to let go are when you feel the strongest urge not to” (The Path to Love by Deepak Chopra page 170).

Once we accept that this is the way it is going to be with this job or this situation or this person or this quality about ourselves that we don’t like, we can stop resisting and let things flow effortlessly. This concept is referred to as “surrendering.” Our ego mistakes surrendering for failure and the end of power, but when we surrender, we transcend our ego and let go of control of circumstances over which we really never had any control anyway. We can stop forcing things and simply allow things to happen. We are most powerful when we are working with life rather than against it. Surrendering is stopping ourselves from doing the things that make us miserable, crazy or self-hating. When we stop abusing ourselves, love and healing can move in. This is when we can determine what we need to do to create joy in our lives.

What are you going to do differently in your life to ensure you experience the most joy in your life this holiday season?

If you love this blog, won’t you vote for us?  You’ll find the link in the sidebar to the right of this post. If you are reading this post via email, please click here to be taken to the website where you’ll find the vote box.  All you have to do is click on the box. There is nothing more required!  This automatically registers a vote for my blog. It’s quite simple.  Thank you for your support.

As always, I welcome your feedback. Would you like to connect? You can reach me via email or phone, leave a comment right here on the site, or click the contact tab at the bottom of the screen if you are reading this post on the website.

Until next time,

Meredith

6 Ways to Protect your Family from Viruses, including Ebola

ebola virusPretty much every year, the media scares the majority of us with news of the latest virus that is making individuals sick or worse. Viral infections that have hit the world in recent years include H1N1, West Nile Virus, Norwalk Virus, SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome) and Ebola, amongst others. Here are 6 areas of our lives to focus on if we want to protect our families and make them virus resistant and the healthiest possible: Continue reading

4 Dietary Causes and Other Help for Sleep Challenges

kids trouble sleepingIf babies awake a few times a night, that’s normal. However, if babies are up every few minutes or every hour, you may have a sleep challenge on your hands. When it comes to children, it is ideal for them to sleep for at least 8 hours in a row. If a child awakes and feels rested within 5-10 minutes, they are getting enough sleep. When a child is tired, nothing is easy. Here are 5 possible repercussions of insufficient sleep including dietary causes:

  • The challenge of feeling tired.
  • A compromised immune system, increasing susceptibility to food sensitivities and sickness.
  • Diminished mental function, increasing their risk of harmful accidents
  • An increased focus on the negatives rather than the positives
  • Appetite changes (a child might eat more to gain energy or eat less because they are too tired)

Here are 4 dietary causes of sleep challenges: Continue reading

11 Ways to Know If Your Child Is Emotionally Healthy

Kid's Life Coach OntarioIt is difficult to gauge one’s level of emotional health when most of us don’t even know what emotional health is. My intention is to show you how to know if your child is emotionally healthy, to explain what causes a child to be unhealthy emotionally and what you can do about it when they are not. We know our child is emotionally healthy by: Continue reading

Part 2 – The Value and Function of Each Vitamin and Mineral

Minerals needed by the bodyIn part 1 of this 2 part series, I promised you that I would summarize the value and function of each mineral, so that is exactly what I am going to do. By reading over these descriptions, you can form ideas as to which ones you or your child might be deficient in and which ones you might have a sufficient amount of.

Calcium is necessary for: Continue reading

The Value and Function of Each Vitamin and Mineral – Part 1

pediatric nutritionist York RegionOver the past few months that I have been observing my clients’ lab work, I have noticed that the majority of us (both adults and children) are vitamin and mineral deficient. Vitamins and minerals are not usually produced by the body but need to be obtained from food or supplements. I felt it would be helpful to provide you with a brief synopsis of the value and function of each vitamin and mineral in the body. This will be a 2 part series.

Vitamin A

  • Prevents skin challenges, such as acne, wrinkling and age spots.
  • Strengthens the immune system, protecting the body from colds, flus and infections to kidney, bladder, and lungs.
  • Maintains and repairs the mucus membranes in the lungs, throat, eyes and other areas.

Continue reading